DearBunmi,
Every time we go out, my boyfriend stares at other girls as if he’s searching for eye contact – with me there beside him! Other than this, we have a trusting relationship as we’ve been an item for 10 months now and I love him.
Whenever I try to talk to him about this, he gets annoyed and says I’m
overreaching. Do you think I am? Or am I right to be furious?
Roli, bye-mail.
Dear Roli,
It seems to me that it’s not his roving eye that’s the basic problem – it’s his
reluctance to keep that roving eye in check, even though it upsets you. His overdoing the flirt look suggests his ego needs a little TLC (tender loving care).
Talk to him – not about what he does that makes you feel bad – but about what he does that makes you feel wonderful. Also, try explaining that it’s precisely because you love him that his ogling other women distresses you, and ask him to stop.
Be gentle and sincere, and don’t accuse. You want his understanding this time, not a quarrel.
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